10 Year Wedding Anniversary!

Top 10 reasons I’m happy to be married to Brian for 10 years!

10. He is STRONG! He is unmovable. We have faced hard challenges together. I have never seen him question the Lord. Never. His faith in Jesus Christ never shakes.
9. Supportive. Having a husband who stands by me is a great blessing. He validates me. He understands me. I can’t mention support without thinking of my pregnancies and deliveries. He not only physically supported me, but emotionally as well.
8. Plays with kids. Reads to kids. Wrestles with kids. Makes up stories with kids.
7. Cares for our physical needs. He brings me a drink of water every night. He changes diapers and wipes bottoms, without a complaint. He carries purses and now diaper bags. He is always looking for ways to make me comfortable.
6. He’s fun! We love to laugh together. He’s always up for a good time.
5. Positive attitude. He always finds the good in people. Sometimes I think he does not have the capability to notice the bad in someone.
4. Genuine. When I first met Brian, this was one of the characteristics that stood out to me. I have never met anyone who is so sincere. There is nothing fake about him. He is good, happy, and real.
3. Makes the best out of any situation. He works hard. Nothing gets in the way. He is not a complainer.
2. Great father. Good example. Honors priesthood.
1. He has blessed my life. I hate to imagine life without him. He helps me to be a better person. He listens to me. He laughs with me. He has cried with me. (and sometimes held me while I cried.) He faces storms with me. He makes life easier for me. He loves me. I love him.

When we realized our son Isaac was going to have a life labeled “disability” and heard the statistics of marriages that fail under those circumstances is around 70%, it was a daunting feeling. I will never forget what Brian told me.

”The other 30% get stronger. We’ll be fine.”

Then we heard the statistics rose significantly if a couple lost a child. But as we faced that challenge, we grew closer still. We clung to each other and helped comfort each other. He was the only person who understood what I had lost. He had lost the same.

And now we face new challenges together, but separately. I say that because, as we go through this together, I don’t know what he is going through and he doesn’t know what I am going through. It has been a difficult thing. But, as we have learned in the past, we can push through hard times. We can help each other. We can comfort each other. And as a result, we can fall deeper in love and bond even closer together, again.

Brian, thanks for marrying me! I love you! P.S. I couldn’t mention all the great things about being married to you without saying what a great looking guy I think you are. Thank goodness, too. Our kids wouldn’t have a chance of looking normal if it were up to me alone.

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In Public with my Kids

Tonight I decided to take Aubryn, Reagan, and Rylan to Burger King while we waited for Brian to finish at his office. I could not get Reagan to eat his hamburger. He usually eats them up. Tonight he refused. I bribed. Nothing worked. We were sitting in a booth. He was sitting across from me. He laid down on his tummy and reached his arm down between the bench and the window. He pulled something out and ate it! I asked him what it was and he told me a pickle. I said, "There are pickles on your hamburger."

Then Aubryn needed to go to the bathroom. I walked her there then went back to sit with the baby and two year old. I kept my eye on the bathroom door. While sitting there I heard, "I'M DONE!!!!" She yelled it so loud everyone could hear her.

We drove across the parking lot to pick up Brad and Brian at Brian's office. Brad slipped on the ice and hit his back on the van door.

We then drove to a furniture store. (Bad idea) We are in the market for a new bed. The mattress we sleep on is horrible. My back aches in the morning. The kids were bouncing around on the beds. We left that department. Then they found the rocking chairs. I walked past a selection of hope chests and Aubryn said, "Look mom, Time out benches."

Aubryn was getting very spirited in the store. She hid behind a piece of furniture. I told her to come and hold my hand. She took off running with her head turned back looking at me and BAM! She ran right into a wood chair. She hit the temple of her head. WAAAH! We scooped up the kids and got out as fast as we could.

Our family prayer went something like this tonight, "Please bless Dad's head, Brad's back, Rylan's heart, Reagan's lungs, Aubryn's head, and Mom's foot. (there is nothing wrong with my foot.I guess they didn't want me to feel left out.)

Sing Reagan!

Reagan’s nursery leader at church told me that hearing Reagan sing “I am a Child of God” made her ovaries hurt. (Interpret that how you want.) So, on the drive home I asked him to sing it. It was cute. He sang, “I am a child of God. Anjie has sent me here…” I guess I did play a small part in getting him here.

Christmas Fotos and Phun

Princess books

Talking to Grandma Jenny on the computer

Ariel wig

Playing with toys

"Nice!" Reagan says after he throws the ball

Rylan's first Christmas

Aubby emptying her stocking

Christmas Eve

Brad

View out the back window

We had a happy Christmas. The kids were so anxious! Aubryn woke up at about 6:00 and had to wait for her brothers to wake up. Brad set his alarm for 7:30, and actually slept until it went off. (Brad is notorious for setting alarms around the house. They go off at random times in random places.) We let Brad and Aubryn open their stockings while they waited for Reagan to wake up. Then Rylan woke up. The kids were happy all morning. Aubryn was willing to help everyone open their gifts. She jumped in if you were to slow. She wanted to see!!

I think about 90% of our Christmas gifts came from yard sales. I have been hiding things for a long time, but it paid off! Some of the great things I found for the kids were: movies, dolls (Polly Pockets, Mulan dolls, and a big Alice in Wonderland doll- both with the movie!), Cinderella lamp and glass shoes, LOTS of books, games, Polly Pocket dollhouse, leap pad table, ball net game, basketball game, lots of magnet toys, trucks, motorcycles, and a ballet bar with video and mat! My kids are still young and I can get away with it. I love the trill of the saving money and finding things so cheap. But I will admit that I felt a little (just a Little) bit guilty when I looked at all the stuff I had gotten for so cheap.

Winter Rylan

 

 

 

 

Don't Touch

The other day while Reagan and Rylan were both sleeping at the SAME TIME and Brad was gone at school, Aubryn and I had some one on one time. We were playing with Moon Sand. (Side note: I hate Moon Sand! Don’t ever give it to my kids. If I could sue the makers of it for all the time I have wasted cleaning it up, I would. Who thought it would be a good idea to bring sand into the house and make it bright colors?) Aubryn needed to use the bathroom. She hopped down from her stool, turned to me and said, “Don’t let anyone touch that.”

I said, “Okay.” I kind of laughed to myself because there was no one around.

When she came back she said, “Did you let anyone touch it?”

“Yes.”

“Who?”

“Um, A man.”

“What man?”

“I let a man in. He touched it and then left.”

She started to almost cry. “Why you let a man touch it?”

Wow. Guess I shouldn’t kid around like that.

Christmas Activities!

It was a challenge to get the candy on the gingerbread house before Reagan ate it or the candy rolled onto the floor.

I love how my kids set up nativities. They put all the people huddled around baby Jesus. I imagine that is probably how it really was.

Christmas Miracle

I guess I shouldn't use that word lightly. But, it was no small accomplishment to get this picture taken. Brad had a dirty shirt, so I asked him to go put on a clean shirt. He came back wearing a white button up shirt, vest, and a clip-on tie (which was clipped on the outside of his collar). Then Aubryn changed out of her clothes into her princess nightgown. You see how this is going. Finally we all looked fairly picture ready. Our friends, Twyla and Mike, came over to be the photographer. They just kept clicking! Don't you love digital cameras?

Whoa! There just WAS a miracle. I was sitting here in my room nursing my baby and writing this post. Reagan walked over to the top of the stairs with Brad's train engine. It looked like he was going to throw it down the stairs. (Reeagan seems to always have his arm cranked ready to throw something. He has a powerful arm too!) I said, "Reagan don't throw that."
He said okay. Then I heard that awful sound. The boom boom boom. Not a toy train boom. A little boy boom. I jumped up and ran, grimacing and waiting for the big BOOM that would come when he hit the hardwood floor at the bottom of the 16 steps. There he was on the second step up from the bottom laying there. An angel caught him. I can't explain it any other way. I can't figure out how he stopped with all the momentum from falling that far. We really keep our guardian angel busy. He used to follow Aubryn around quite a bit. But I think Reagan has kept him busy lately!

Christmas Spirit

Brian and Aubryn were walking in the very cold snow to Walmart today. (What?! Walking to Walmart? Who wants to go there that bad? I guess Brian did. He has been prohibited from driving for a little while. He is so independent! I was home with sleeping babies.) So, as they walked, Aubryn noticed all the people driving in cars. She probably never thought how lucky all those people were until today.

She said to Brian, "Dad, we should steal one of those cars!"

Smile'n Rylan

Aubryn is singing the "bubble song" to Rylan. He likes the guitar.

Brad is reading to Reagan.

More Positives

So I've been trying to find the positives lately. Here are some new ones:

1. I finally got my tree decorated!
2. The reindeer stocking holder that fell and hit Reagan, hit him in the cheek, not the eye or mouth.
3. My pink eyes are whitening up again. I went to the eye doctor on Tuesday and found out it was a virus and it just had to run it's course. No drops would help. So, $62 later they are getting better on their own (and with a lot of prayers).
4. Brad went to school after missing a couple days being sick. The positive thing is that he is feeling better, not that he was gone all day.
5. I found out Sacrament meeting will be first next year! Yipee!
6. I finally caught up with the laundry.
7. It's 8:30, the kids are asleep, dishes are done, and Brian is home.

Answers

So, the “episode,” “incident,” “spell,” “blackout,” or “whatever you call it” Brian did a few weeks ago that ended in a ride to the ER in an ambulance finally has a name. A seizure. We visited the neurologist this morning. As weird as it may seem, that is a little comforting to me. But just a little. You see, I wasn’t sure what was happening to him. It ended with him lying limp, lifeless, and blue. I thought he was gone. I remember having the thoughts, “Who is he with right now?” and “If anyone is ready, he is.” Those thoughts were obviously accompanied by my screaming and many other scary thoughts. But soon after, he began breathing softly on his own. It still took awhile for him to be “back.” When I arrived at the hospital I was nervous to see him. Was he okay? When I opened the curtain, there he was sitting up and said, “Hi, How’s it going?” He told me he never “saw the light.” We aren’t sure if that is a good thing or not. Ha ha. Brian feels great now and has ever since it happened. He said he felt refreshed. Who knew? Couldn’t he have just gone on a brisk walk? Emotionally, though, it has been another story. Very hard for us. But we are pushing through. We are finding the positives. Like, my instant thumb sucker has become a happy little baby! He has been in the car a lot lately and him soothing himself has been a big BLESSING! Also, my pink eyes that are not responding to my new drops have not spread to anyone else! (We are really desperate to find the positives.)

Evil Eyes

I have pink eye. PINK EYE! Ugh. I've never had it before and it's everything I thought it would be. I had a doctor call in some drops for me. They weren't helping!! So then it spread to my other eye. Both eyes look totally gross. So to the doctor I went. He was asking me all kind of questions about the "goobers" in my eyes. How thick are the goobers? What color are the goobers? Are the goobers getting worse? He always seemed to put emphasis on the word goobers. He'd say it a little slower than the rest of the words. And his voice was the male version of Rosie O'Donnell's. I started to get the giggles. Is that really the professional word for that? He was trying to listen to my lungs while I "breathe normal", but I kept giggling. Giggling is fun, unless your not supposed to be doing it. Then it's the worst! I remember having the giggles in the temple once. That was bad. Why is it so hard to stop giggling??

Anyway, back to the pink eyes. Turns out I was having an allergic reaction to the first drops! They were making it worse. So here's hoping these second set of drops do the trick. Or I'm off to the eye doctor. But as the doctor said, "You didn't want to go to church tomorrow anyway, did you?" Uh, yeah! I was planning on hanging out in the nursery!

Tests

There are tests you can cram for. The kind you study hard for and hope you remember all the information you have shoved in your head when it counts.

There are medical tests. Tests that you pray give you answers, but answers you are afraid to hear. There is no way to prepare. Physically or mentally.

Then, there is the test that is this life. It is full of challenges. We are mortal. We cannot avoid them. This test has different answers. Answers that are hard to reach, but when you get them, you are thankful. You are stronger. Answers that refine us. Answers that bring us closer to each other and our Father in Heaven.

Good Night

Last night I walked toward the bathroom to brush my teeth. I turned the corner around the foot of my bed and almost stepped on these two. Aubryn had made a nice bed for them on the floor next to ours. It struck me funny. The dolls have a slight resemblance to Brian and I. (very slight) They both have brown hair and blue eyes. Barbie has a MUCH better figure. And Ken is a LOT less hairy.

Counterfeit!

Brian's office received some counterfeit money recently. When Brian was telling me about it, Brad was really interested. Today I pulled up in front of Brian's office and saw this sign on the door. Brad had made it and hung it up while Brian was busy. I do like the block letters!

Thankful Heart

Today I am thankful. I am not sure why certain things happen, or a trial comes our way. I always wish they wouldn’t. But, they do. And then I am stronger and grateful. I wonder if maybe I do not show enough gratitude for all that my Heavenly Father has granted me.

Saturday night I was reading through some older journals of times of my life when things were challenging. I read about Isaac’s hard life. I read about me discovering he could not see and his other issues. I read about the heartache of understanding his challenging life. I read about when I was single and unsure of the next step in my life and the challenges of living on my own. I pondered on the blessings I have now. I was overcome with a thankful heart in appreciation for all that I have in my life right now. I was so thankful for my husband. (especially as I read about all the crazy dates I went on.)

Then Sunday afternoon as we rested after church, it all changed. It is amazing all the thoughts that pass through your mind in a moment of terror. What you might loose. Your children’s hearts. And, of course, the thought, “Is this really happening?!!!”

I am still in a state of shock and fear. But I am also in a state of extreme gratitude. I’m am so thankful for what I have. I will not take it for granted. Never.

Happy 4th Birthday AUBRYN!

I LOVE Aubryn! I hope you have a wonderful day. We placed her presents all around the house this morning. She wandered around and found them. She got a baby doll and named him Rylan. She has told me that now that she is four, she will wipe her bumb and eat all her bites. Won't that be wonderful! Grandma and Grandpa called and sang happy birthday to her on the phone. When they were done, Reagan blew! Then he said, "hot!" But we have not made a cake yet.
I am so grateful for my girl! I love her spunk and fun attitude.

Today, I am especially grateful for my entire family. I love you all. And Brian, I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Thumbs up

Thursday Rylan started sucking his thumb! That night he slept for 12 hours straight! But don't think I slept well. I was quite nervous. We kept checking him. Then again last night he slept again for 12 hours. Both mornings I woke him up! (I needed to feed him!!) I have never had a thumb sucker. I do like that he can sooth himself, but at what cost later? Should I put a sock on his hand now? Should I try to prevent this from becoming a habit now? Or let it go and deal with it later? I do like the sleep, but he was not a bad sleeper before. I usually only fed him once a night and again early in the morning. Sometimes not at all at night. Hmmmmmm

Toe Jam

Actual phone conversation that Brian had tonight with an adult, married man:

Brian: Hello?

Hi

Brian: Hi (name) how are you doing?

Fine. My mom hurt her toe.

Brian: She did? What did she do?

She stubbed it.

Brian: Oh no!

At this point he and I (I was laying in bed next to him and was listening to the conversation) started laughing, so we could barely hear the next part. But it only got worse. Something about his wife trying to help his mom’s toe by picking it with a needle. Now it is infected! Man! So the Mom kicked his wife out. Now he lives alone with his mom to take care of her and her ailing toe. “She can’t do much. She has to keep it elevated.” I heard him say that a few times. Wow, crazy. Brian was so nice on the phone trying to give him counsel. He asked him if he was working and he said he was working 24 hours. A week? “No, a month. Got to get my food stamps.”

My favorite thing Brian said was something like, “Man, I’ve stubbed my toe and it hurts. But not as bad as your stub.” Such a compassionate guy. And I’m the uncompassionate wife writing about it on her blog.

I Win!

Aubryn is very competitive, it turns out. A few weeks ago when I was getting all the kids ready for bed, I made it into a race. Every night since she has been determined to win. She takes it really hard when she looses.

Today, at 3:00pm, Aubryn was ready for bed.

Bedtime?

Crazy Time!

Sunday Afternoon

After church yesterday Brad decided to play "Joseph and Mary". Maybe he was inspired by his beautiful nativity. He asked if they could go outside. He really wanted to use his golf club bag with wheels as a donkey. I said that was fine, but they needed to put some warm clothes on. He decided to make Mary a warm dress out of paper. By the time he finished his creation on a very patient Aubryn she said, "I want to play Ariel now."

THIS is a Big Deal!!!

Nativity

I bought this nativity for my kids to paint. I thought it would be so sweet. I'm not sure what to think of Mary. Aubryn painted her black. All black. She is so proud of her work. "Do you like Mary?!" she asks. Of course we say yes. But I have to admit, it is disturbing to me.
Baby Jesus was painted by Brad. All that red around his head looks rather bloody to me. But I guess some newborns look bloody. uhh.
So, I have this proudly displayed in my home. Maybe it would be a great gift for Grandma.

Take Your Time

We had Parent Teacher conference today with Brad's teacher. Brad is doing great! He is smart and the teacher said he is very helpful to her. I am sure he is. He is helpful to me. He is a great kid!! One thing we started talking about, while looking at this spelling test, is that he needs to take his time. He tends to hurry through things so he can do something more fun. He is this way at home to. You should see how nicely he can make his bed, but usually just throws the blankets up. He is 8, you know.
He was sitting there by me. I said, "Looks like he had enough time to draw that cool picture." It got silent as we all took a good look at his drawing in the middle of his test. I looked at Brad and he was grinning with his hands over his mouth. Then he giggled a little. So cute.

This is a BIG Deal!

She wrote her name! ALL BY HERSELF!