Sunday, June 28, 2020

Who Matters, written June 14, 2020

Isaacs birthday. June 2nd, 2020. 18 years old. A monumental birthday. There was pain in my heart that I spent his 18th birthday without him here.  No graduation, no celebrations, no future to plan. Nothing. Just fading memories and many years of lost memories we never got to create. I went to Facebook wanting to share all about him with my world, but immediately felt that it was not the place. Not that day. It was blackout Tuesday.  Black lives matter. I get the sentiment. I DO. I know I'm not racist. I also know I can say nothing.  I know I don't completely understand. I know that I can't and never will completely understand what I don’t live and experience. I do understand that racism is bad.  I do understand police brutality is bad. I do understand black lives matter.  I do understand that looting,  robbing,  vandalizing,  destroying businesses and livelihoods is bad.  I do understand all those lives matter too.  All lives matter. All the black lives,  all the white lives,  ALL THE LIVES.
BUT, I can't say that. It is insensitive, at least that's what I'm told. I read this, 


That thought festered in me. Blackout Tuesday and I can't share how special my child was? My thoughts continued. I disagree. What better message than all kids are special?
I believe all lives are special! If I could tell all the moms and all the dads one thing after my son died it WOULD BE that all kids are special! All lives are special! All lives matter!! Hug your kids! Tell them you love them! Hold your tongue!  Hear them! Play with them! Walk with them! Dance with them! Sing to them! Live with them!

Black lives matter AND ALL the other lives DO matter even when you’re hurting.

If someone used the grave of my child to push their political agenda,  I would be livid. LIVID. My child did not die for you to use their grave as a stepping stool.  I believe that is very low. Climb upward on your own merit and ideas. If you can’t, then look at yourself and what you are presenting.

Also, I looked up the official Black lives matter website and read their beliefs. I wanted to know what they stood for from their own source.  I cannot stand (or kneel) with that organization.  They go against some of my fundamental beliefs.  They use the money they raise to push their political agenda and work to ruin anyone they deem “anti-black”.  How do they determine that?  Someone supported Trump? Someone they know supported Trump?  Someone didn’t kneel?  Someone did not speak out and say the right thing as they see fit? 

The organization states they do not uphold the nuclear family and that the village raises the child.  I get that we need to help each other, but dismissing the nuclear family is exactly the problem that is plaguing so much of society.  If we had intact and functional nuclear families many of society's problems would lessen.

The mob rules right now.  I hope the silence is the majority.  Bad is reported as good and good as bad.  The country has gone mad. 

June back to January photos

 New hen "Moon". Reagan loves her!
 Swimming at Chris Price's

 So many golf balls!!  FOR SALE
 Wesley and Eden headed to park to play ball!
 Reagan's MRI image.  That is an arachnoid cyst.  All is well, though. no symptoms for the lucky kid!
 We painted a mural in Aubryn's room. It was fun and a great project.

 Wesley does some nice jumps!
 Wesley, James, and Eden being SILLY!!
 More pool fun!
 Painting in progress
 Isaac's 18th birthday!
 Reagan, Rylan, James, Wesley, and Eden.  I just walked in on them sitting like this.
 Wesley and Eden in hammock
 SKIP-BO always!
 Wesley's baptism.

 I tried to take baptism photos. It didn't go well.
 Eden's Birthday!  Woo Hoo she is 6! Drive by friends til the rain hit!


 Antelope Island

 6th grade vitual dance in Boy's room.

 I took Hailey Brimhall's senior photos and it was a great creative thing for me.


 Mother's Day!
 Isaac's tree on Mother's Day.
 Brian's gift to me.

 Nephew, Jaren's wedding over zoom.
 Wesley is 8!
 Orange rolls
 Mrs. Johnson came by to say happy birthday for a distance.
 Wesley woke up in his birthday suit on his birthday!  He was so happy and excited.

 Aubryn works at Northern Ice! She loves it!
 Bike ride to get a treat!
 Sidewalk chalk


 Wesley is getting really good on the skateboard
 Brian recovering after hitting his head hard and getting a concussion from a seizure.
 Rylan made that!
 Girls virtual spa night
 How we home school



 Braids for the lady
 Easter!

 bunny rolls?
 Eden and Wesley wanted to pose
 Family on Easter!
 Sisters
 Brian and I
 LASHES!
 Aubryn's art project
 New mask.  "I don't need to smile, do I?"

 Lunch at Wadman park.
 Mask wearer to the max.
 Looking at the Super moon.
 homemade golf
 workout over the phone
 Easter egg hunt
 Hope filled window messages


 a day in my life
 our chocolate suckers
 exercising
 playgrounds are closed
 Bread!  It worked!
 "Stars" and Rylan
 Brad
 James
 Virtual "learning"

 Mars and Stars
 Eden



 Brian's message

 Banana bread


 Aubryn's art
 Band and reading and learning
 Money puzzles
 learning time
 the only thing that fell in my house during the earthquake. Ironic
 St. Patrick's day cookies
 and decorations
 she thinks she owns this place.


 Wore a dress on the first Sunday of no church.
 Replacing bulb
 Reagan's band concert!
 Toby Mac concert!  SO GOOD!
 James basketball team

 cousins
 it is cold in tetonia!
 the brow can stand!
 she's cute
 Parent teacher conferences


 New Eagle Scout!

 For my parents!  Happy 50th!
 At Weber State games

 At the temple we go
 Reagan's basketball team


 Huong, Heather, Anjie, and Camille
 Aubryn has her permit!
 Went to Brad Mortensen's inauguration to be President at Weber State.
How I talk to my mom virtually. Always just the top of her head.