Reagan said to me....

"Mom, you are my best friend. [giggle] Is that nice?"

I said, "Yeah, thanks!"

He giggled again and said, "Okay, now I'm going to go tell Aubryn. Aubryn, you're my best friend I ever had!"

We took the kids to a buffet for dinner tonight. Boy, we were stuffed! We stopped at a Red Box on the way home to get a movie. It was in a McDonald's parking lot.

"I want a burrito!!!" Reagan yelled.
"I want chicken nuggets. I want chicken nuggets!" said Aubryn.

Dew Tour at Snowbasin

Reagan.
We went to Snowbasin to watch some professional skiers compete. We didn't really fit in because 1. none of us were skiing, 2. none of us were drinking beer, and 3. two thirds of us were 9 years old and under. There was a twenty-something year old who stood there with his beer staring at us with the most confused look. I am not sure if he was wondering how we got all those kids up the mountain, how those kids could make so much noise, or if he was just so drunk he forgot there are little humans on the earth.

Rylan. Brian sporting his new beard.

Watching the half pipe.

skier in half pipe

Another skier in the half pipe.

Reagan

View of the half pipe from where we stood.

Aubryn

Man with a crazy beard! I hope Brian doesn't get any ideas.

Free style

Skier

Upside down skier.

Aubryn on the ski lift. She LOVED it! Until it was time to get off. I had Reagan and Aubryn with me in one lift and Brian had Rylan and Brad in another. When it was time to get off, I grabbed Reagan and then fell flat on my bottom as she continued on the lift. She started crying. They stopped it and got her off. We know how to blend in.

Reagan happily riding the lift.

Us at the lodge.

Beautiful waterfall on the way home in Weber Canyon.

I Have Survived

The emotions of loosing someone who you love more than yourself, who you would sacrifice anything for, who you spend your days and nights loving and caring for, who you hold, feed, and talk to, who you have great hopes and dreams for, are intense. They are physically painful and become overwhelming. How are we expected to cope? Could I ever smile again? Could I get dressed? Go to the grocery store? How could life go on without him here? What was I supposed to do with myself? In the intensity of it all, I thought I couldn’t go on. It seemed wrong, in a way, to move on. My life had come to a halt. How would I survive?

But, I did have more to live for. Other people I loved. Others who still needed me. So, I carried on. One moment at a time. It was difficult.

Every year as this day approached, I would dread it. We would escape. Vacation. Take our minds and bodies away from anything that reminded us of the pain we lived on that day of great loss. Get away from the sights, smells, feelings, lighting, temperature, etc. Any reminders. Far away.

This year, however, I did not feel that horrible anticipation. I knew the day was coming, and I knew I would be okay.

I have survived.At the graveside after the funeral. Top photo is Brad on Brian's shoulders and Brian's hand on my shoulder. That is so symbolic of the support he was to our family. The bottom photo is my dad comforting me after the graveside was done. (It was about 14 degrees.)

As I looked through the pictures of his funeral today, I was overwhelmed as I saw so many friends and family who were there. Many had come long distances and on short notice. One friend drove over 5 hours to and 5 hours back the same day, with children. Another friend drove over an hour there and back with small children and without her husband. I know of others who were facing hard challenges of grief themselves and it meant so much for them to come reach out to me while putting their grief aside. Many, many came to show love and support. I am grateful for the genuine love and compassion so many had.

Friendly Advice

Don't put water and dish soap in your blender to clean it out. I know. It sounds like a great idea! Right before I turned it on, I thought to myself, "This may be the dumbest thing I ever do." And it kind of was, but it is a good way to clean your whole kitchen!

Love This Girl!

We went to turn out her light tonight and here is how we found her.

Here is what I found a few months ago:

And click on the label "sleepy head" below to see more crazy sleeping pictures.

Top Ten Most Fascinating People of 2009 in My World

I saw some lady on TV do this, but her list was LAME, so I decided to do my own. There are some very amazing people that never get noticed because they are simple and modest about what they do. So, here goes!

10. Brian Regan. This will be the only "famous" person on my list. But this man’s CLEAN humor has lifted my spirits and made me LAUGH OUT LOUD on hard days. I thank him for that!!

9. My husband’s parents. I have never seen harder working missionaries!! They returned home in October. They left their world behind to share the knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I know it was difficult for them to leave and I admire that. I also know that their service has blessed the lives in my home.

8. My parents. They are having their 40th wedding anniversary THIS month!! Congratulations to them!! Whenever they visit, my kids come unglued with excitement. They bring treats and goodies. They help out and clean. (I was so embarrassed to find out my mom cleaned my hardwood floor on her hands and knees!) And the ironic thing is my mom always sends me a thank you card immediately when she gets home. So, last time I tried to beat her. Oh man! I still need to write one for the nice Christmas gifts before I get one from her!

7. My brother, Craig, his wife, and their kids. They made an incredible journey across the country to visit the family. It looked like a BIG undertaking!! It is a big deal just for me to take all my kids to the grocery store. The kids were so fun to see. They are so well behaved!! (makes me feel like a bit of a crappy mom) It was so fun to see and visit with them. I wish we all lived closer. I really do. AND my sister, Kristel and her family. They have hosted my family several times this year. That is a big accomplishment! We always have fun and are well fed!

6. Dr. Stokes, my kid’s pediatrician. She is so kind and caring every time I see her. She is thorough, smart, and knows her stuff!! Yet, she never does anything without my or my husband’s permission. She gives us the knowledge and lets us make informed decisions. I know this may sound a bit much, but I feel she EMPOWERS me as a mother. I never feel talked down to. I never feel threatened or pushed into something I don’t feel good about. I think it is hard to find a doctor that makes you feel like a competent, capable, parent. She helps me know that I can do it.

5. Shelby, my visiting teaching companion. She has got to have something wrong with her, but I have not figured it out yet. Maybe she can’t spell. She handles everything with such ease. She has young twins. I have heard how hard twins are from everyone I have ever known to have them. I have never heard Shelby complain. She just does what needs done and has a great attitude. She is very CARING and HELPFUL too!

4. Cragun Family. They have adopted 3 children from Siapan this year. New challenges and adventures have come to this instant family. They have made the best out of it and love the kids as if they are their own, because, really they are!

3. Twyla. She is a dear friend to me. If she were my therapist I would owe her waaay too much money. She is a very good listener and so patient! This summer I watched her triumph and overcome. It was awesome to see her, full of doubt and fear, rise above and conquer! She is a STRONG WOMAN!!!! I look up to her as a mother, wife, and friend.

2. Claire Skinner, her parents, and brother. This is ONE TOUGH little girl! Her parents are strong also!! They have done whatever it takes to take care of their children, including moving across the country. I am amazed at their POSITIVE ATTITUDE when everything goes wrong, really wrong. Another thing that I admire is that they do not seek attention from their hardships. They do what is necessary and keep their heads held up.

1. My husband, Brian. I know you think I picked him just because he is my husband. But this guy can RISE ABOVE ANYTHING. We received devastating news earlier this year. He has not let it get him down. Life has moved on as BEST it can. He won’t let hard things compromise him in any way. He makes the best of tough situations. It has been very difficult, but he has really made an effort to be positive and not complain. Honestly, he has AMAZED me.


Sorry, Michelle Obama, you didn’t make my list. Your Christmas tree was a disgrace! You have no decorating sense!