I sat in the van and watched Brad from a distance as he moved pipe at the pumpkin patch. He looked miserable! Wearing his garden gloves, big rubber boots, and a hoodie that was cinched tight revealing only his nose and sunglass covered eyes, he was hurrying through the weeds and pumpkin plants trying to minimize the amount of mosquitoes that would fly up his nose as he worked. With each step his ankles twist and bend on the uneven ground and pumpkins growing. The prickly, sticky weeds were taller than my 6’3” boy! The pipes are heavy and old. He lifted and moved them piece by piece and hooked them together. This was done twice a day four days a week. In the spring he had plowed the field and planted the seeds. We drove to and from this place so often! This was before harvesting ever began and what a HUGE job that has become. Cutting the stem, lifting carefully not to break the stem, and hauling to the truck or van. (James is an amazing pumpkin picker and hauler. He worked many hours without asking what was in it for him or when we would be done. He was very helpful to Brad.) Even after spending several grueling hours working on picking pumpkins it doesn’t look like a dent was made in the pumpkins that are ALL OVER the acre of land. Now we are in the thick of selling. There are still many more at the pumpkin patch. We are working so hard to sell what we have before nobody needs pumpkins anymore. We have resorted to door-to-door selling. “We have a truck full of fresh pumpkins for cheap! Want to buy any? $3 for a large…” Hours we have spent walking to doors and carrying pumpkins around. (Unless you are Reagan, then you have spent hours running to doors. He was such a huge help selling pumpkins! He could hit several doors in the amount of time the others went to one. He kept going too, when Brad desperately needed to do some homework. ) We basically have pumpkins ruling our lives right now. RULING OUR LIVES!!!
Back to my thoughts while I was watching Brad work in the field. WHY was I letting him do this? I felt so bad for him, but allowed, even encouraged him to do it. I could take it away. I could make it stop. I could tell him he didn’t need to ever work in the pumpkin patch again! It could all be over. That would make my life easier in many ways also! Why was I watching him be miserable and not doing anything to stop it? I had a light bulb moment. I knew that there was great value in his struggle. I knew he was learning great things. I knew he would be better for having done this. I knew he would be stronger. He would be more capable. He would be able to handle more and harder challenges in the future. I knew he would learn valuable skills. He would feel the satisfaction that comes with problem solving, pressing forward, and perseverance. He would have a reward when it was all done. He would be more appreciative. He would be better than he was before.
My light bulb moment was the thought that Heavenly Father is watching me in my field. He sees me in the mud. He sees me suffering. He sees the frustration. He sees me. He knows me. He loves me! He knows the value to come to me. He leaves me there. He lets me become stronger, better, and more capable. Frankly, sometimes I hate it. I want it easy.
"Trials" is an interesting word. It's like a fluffy way of saying "life is crappy." It feels different because when we use that word, we recognize that the hard times are not in vain. We know that we will learn, we will grow, we will be humbled, we will stretch, and we will be stronger. We acknowledge that this is “God’s plan for me”.
Alma 34:41 But that ye have patience,
and bear with those afflictions,
with a firm hope that ye shall one
day rest from all your afflictions.
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