12 Ideas to Motivate Kids

How do we get our kids to do anything?  I've been pondering this after someone recently asked me how I get my little kids to do things without constant nagging.  Made me wonder, how is ANYONE  motivated?  How am I motivated?  Really, no one is going to do anything unless THEY want to for themselves.  Maybe out of fear, rewards, attention, necessity,  etc.   How do we use this in parenting?  How do we get our kids to be independent?  I am NOT an expert.  I do not have all the answers.  I have to ask kids to do things over and over and over.   l loose my cool.  I need to improve my parenting.   My kids are all different ages and very unique personalities.  They are inspired in different ways. 

1.  Pray.  Be specific when praying about a child or concern.  God knows His child.  Ideas will come.

2.  OWN IT.  When my kids start to blame or make excuses, I tell them to own what they are doing.  Help them to be responsible for their own actions.  They won't improve or change if they don't ever acknowledge that they need to change what they are doing.  When someone steps up and owns it, then they are removing the need for  nagging and prompting from others.  That is HUGE!  Get them involved in choosing their plan and possible incentives.  When kids make choices for themselves, they own the plan.  They care more.

3.  What motivates them?  USE THAT!  God blesses us when we do what is right.  We can do the same for our kids.  Give them something to work towards.  It teaches patience and not instant gratification.  When rewards are not getting results, then I turn to punishments.  Taking things away that they like WILL motivate them.  Every kid has something; a phone, computer time, friend time, etc.

4.  Develop good habits.  I'm talking repetition.  Get them doing something over and over and over and it will become something they are used to.  They will know what is expected and have a new standard.  We want good habits.

5.  Positive words.  Instead of, "Don't hurt your brother!"  say, "Can you help him feel happy?", "Be kind.", or "Be soft."  Try to find the positive.  Sometimes that is hard!  Look for it.  What are they doing right?  Point it out.  Show them you notice the good.  Be encouraging.  If they are struggling through something "cheer" them on.  "You thought through your math problem and kept trying!  You are a good thinker!",  "I like that you didn't quit trying.",  "That was hard for you, but you figured it out!" , "That was a tough word!  Nice sounding it out!", "Thanks for practicing!  That sounded like a hard song, but I could hear you figuring it out.", "You got this!", and "You are doing it!"

6.  "Is that the best you can do?"  If it works when I'm trying to get a great deal, then it can work on my kids.  The question gives them some self reflection.  My kids often do a job, but fail to finish it right. This question makes them think.

7.  Keep it simple!  Start small.  Keep goals and tasks at their level.  We want them to succeed!  Help them to accomplish things.  Then ask them how they feel when they do.  Hopefully they feel good!  We want them to recognize that! 

8.  Be polite.  Say please and thank you.  I often think about how a good boss treats employees and how that motivates the workers.  What makes people  work hard for someone else?  Not rudeness.  Work along side your kids when you can.

9.  Look around you.  Help kids to see other's needs and wants as well.  Especially when they are working towards good things, but might need to wait or do something differently to be courteous to others. Notice OTHER'S feelings.  "If you don't let him have a turn, how does that make him feel?"  When kids need motivation to behave better, help them notice that what they are doing is affecting others too.   If a child is making everyone late, they need to learn that their actions don't just affect them.  Help them to be aware and kind.

10.  Change.  If something is not working, stop doing it!  Go with the flow!

11. Keep on keeping on!  My husband and I have kind of an inside joke.  When a child is really having a hard time one of us will ask the other, "What are we going to do with him!?"  The other always replies, "Keep him."

12.  LOVE! love! love! Make sure they always know that they are loved.  Even when they are driving you BONKERS!! No matter what they are struggling through. (or WE are struggling through) They need to know we are always there!  Love moves people to do GOOD things!