Aubryn and I ran to WalMart one evening, which I usually try to avoid. Walmart is scary, but WalMart
in the dark is a whole other level of scary. As we were getting ready to exit, I asked her to grab as many
bags as she could, and I would too, so we wouldn’t have to return a cart. I loaded up my left arm, really
loaded it up! I had many bags and many were full of heavy jars. We began walking to the car, then
hurriedly walking, then I was running. “C’mon! These are way heavier than I thought! I don’t know if
I’m going to make it!”
in the dark is a whole other level of scary. As we were getting ready to exit, I asked her to grab as many
bags as she could, and I would too, so we wouldn’t have to return a cart. I loaded up my left arm, really
loaded it up! I had many bags and many were full of heavy jars. We began walking to the car, then
hurriedly walking, then I was running. “C’mon! These are way heavier than I thought! I don’t know if
I’m going to make it!”
“MOM, You’ve prepared for this your WHOLE LIFE!” Aubryn yelled to me. She went on to tell me I go
to the gym to exercise everyday and my muscles are strong.
to the gym to exercise everyday and my muscles are strong.
When she said that, I nearly stopped in my tracks. I had to keep running, though, before the bags
dropped. It was such a profound statement to me and was exactly what I needed to hear. Not for the
immediate physical strength that I needed. It hit me on a spiritual level.
dropped. It was such a profound statement to me and was exactly what I needed to hear. Not for the
immediate physical strength that I needed. It hit me on a spiritual level.
January and the first part of February have challenged me in ways I have not dealt with before.
Challenged my faith. I have felt so many, many emotions of all kinds. I have now come to a place of
peace. REAL peace. I have decided to lean 100% on my Faith in Jesus Christ. Probably more than
I have ever had to before. I think that is why Aubryn’s statement struck me so much. I HAVE prepared
for this my whole life. Here I am. I do have a testimony of Jesus Christ. Now is the time to let it hold me.
To let HIM hold me. The more I do that, the more I trust in Him, the more I give it to Him, the more I place
it all at his feet, the more I GIVE IT ALL TO HIM, then the more He takes it. The more He relieves me, the
more He carries me, the more He eases my mind, the more He gives me the strength to move forward and
keep walking. He is SUSTAINING me. I know He loves me. I know he LOVES my family, each one. I know
he atoned for each of us. I know God lives. I’m grateful for the peace of the temple. I am thankful for the
scriptures. I am thankful for priesthood blessings. I am thankful for hope, faith, trust, and perspective.
Challenged my faith. I have felt so many, many emotions of all kinds. I have now come to a place of
peace. REAL peace. I have decided to lean 100% on my Faith in Jesus Christ. Probably more than
I have ever had to before. I think that is why Aubryn’s statement struck me so much. I HAVE prepared
for this my whole life. Here I am. I do have a testimony of Jesus Christ. Now is the time to let it hold me.
To let HIM hold me. The more I do that, the more I trust in Him, the more I give it to Him, the more I place
it all at his feet, the more I GIVE IT ALL TO HIM, then the more He takes it. The more He relieves me, the
more He carries me, the more He eases my mind, the more He gives me the strength to move forward and
keep walking. He is SUSTAINING me. I know He loves me. I know he LOVES my family, each one. I know
he atoned for each of us. I know God lives. I’m grateful for the peace of the temple. I am thankful for the
scriptures. I am thankful for priesthood blessings. I am thankful for hope, faith, trust, and perspective.
I don’t know if I have ever felt such a variety of intense feelings in a short amount of time. Feelings so intense
I felt physically sick to my stomach. Fear, shock, confusion, disbelief, guilt, sadness, anger, disappointment, pity,
and then finally some resolve and peace.
I felt physically sick to my stomach. Fear, shock, confusion, disbelief, guilt, sadness, anger, disappointment, pity,
and then finally some resolve and peace.
I don’t have answers to all my questions and that has a level of frustration, but I feel this is when my faith is truly
tested. This is when my faith in Jesus Christ is needed! This is when it matters! It’s easy to believe when it all lines
up and makes sense. When life throws difficulties at us that we can’t really fix, it makes us rely on the one who can
fix everything.
tested. This is when my faith in Jesus Christ is needed! This is when it matters! It’s easy to believe when it all lines
up and makes sense. When life throws difficulties at us that we can’t really fix, it makes us rely on the one who can
fix everything.
I have faith in Jesus Christ!
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