If you say this, you must be Reagan.

"What the craps!"
"Holy craps!"
"Crazy carrots!"
"I'm gunna beat you up." (instead of saying he will beat you in a race or something.)
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Last night at dinner Aubryn told Reagan that there is a real queen in this world.  She is the queen of England.  Reagan's eyes were huge and his mouth wide open.  He was speechless.  Then he said, "WHAT!?  I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!"